DARVO: a common tactic used by individuals trying to escape accountability and maintain control through abuse.
What is DARVO?
DARVO is a three-part strategy individuals use to deflect blame and maintain innocence when they're called out for harmful behaviour. It's a psychological sleight of hand that can leave victims confused and doubting their own experiences.
The abuser outright denies any wrongdoing, often with such conviction that it can make the victim question their own memory or perception of events.
The abuser launches a counter-offensive against the victim's character and credibility, aiming to undermine their reputation and make them less believable to others.
Reverse Victim and Offender
Finally, the abuser flips the script, reversing the roles of victim and offender. They portray themselves as the one who has been wronged, effectively gaslighting the victim into believing they are the perpetrator.
Impact
DARVO can be incredibly damaging to a person's mental health. It can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame, as victims may start to believe they are at fault for the abuse. This tactic is not just limited to intimate relationships; it can occur in friendships, amongst colleagues in professional settings and in everyday interactions with others.
Recognising DARVO
It is often difficult for victims to recognise DARVO when they're experiencing it. Some signs include:
Consistent denial of responsibility by the person causing harm
Personal attacks directed at you
The person causing the harm claiming to be the victim
Protecting Yourself from DARVO
If you suspect you're experiencing DARVO, there are steps you can take to protect yourself:
Set clear boundaries for what you will accept and what you will not tolerate
Speak with a mental health professional
Walk away from the individual and the relationship.
Regards, Brittany x
