Understanding Memory, and the Unconscious Mind

To really understand how adverse experiences impact us, it is essential to breakdown how the brain processes traumatic memories and the role of our unconscious mind.

Unconscious Mind

Our unconscious mind operates beneath our awareness, guiding much of what we do and feel. It has three jobs (after managing our heartrate, blood pressure, temperature regulation etc.)

Keeping Us Safe (Move away from the bad):
The first is to ensure survival. Our ANS and senses are constantly scanning for danger (Neuroception by Stephen Porges) and respond immediately when necessary. This is a priority above all else —there’s no point in looking for food if you’re life is on the line.
Seeking Gratification (Move toward the good):
Once safety is secured, our unconscious moves to seeking comfort and pleasure. A comfortable resting place or socialising perhaps.
Learning and Automating Responses:
Finally, our unconscious will take past experiences, especially painful ones, and create automatic responses to avoid future discomfort. For instance, if eating a certain plant made you sick, you’ll instinctively avoid it next time. Similarly, if you were yelled at for getting excited, you might unconsciously learn to suppress your emotional expression in future interactions.

Mates: Unconscious minds and Emotions

The unconscious mind is not cognitive or logical, it communicates through the language of emotion. But why? Well, emotions are faster. In life-or-death situations, we feel before we think. For example, imagine walking into your home and see something moving - you are likely to scream and yell before fully realising, it might be a snake.

Why We Repress Painful Memories

Traumatic memories are not only painful to experience but also painful to recall. To protect us, the unconscious mind employs various psychological defences to dull these experiences and allow us to function. Without these defences, life would be unbearable, as we’d constantly relive every distressing moment we ever experienced.

The Four Psychological Defences Against Painful Memories

Suppression:
This is a conscious decision to delay thinking about something troubling. You might put off worrying about a large bill until after the weekend. This works for minor issues, as the mind knows it will address the problem later.
Repression:
Repression is burying painful memories in the unconscious so they’re not easily accessible. These memories resurface when triggered—by a smell, a song, or someone bringing up the event. Time increases repression, as the mind gradually moves painful memories into the background.
Denial:
Denial is a refusal to accept reality because it feels too overwhelming. While it can provide temporary relief, reality eventually asserts itself. For example, a terminally ill person might plan for the future as though they aren’t unwell, finding comfort in their denial until they’re forced to confront the truth.
Dissociation:
This most powerful defence involves mentally separating oneself from the traumatic experience. In cases of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), the mind creates “parts” or “alters” that can take on traumatic experiences, allowing the individual to continue functioning. Dissociation can range from emotional detachment during a traumatic memory to the creation of completely separate identities.

If these strategies are so great, why does traumatic material leak?

These vaults aren't perfect. Remember, experience aka memories remain connected to our unconscious as a way to protect us from future threats, even when the threat is no longer present. For example, someone with a history of oral trauma may avoid the dentist or struggle with throat swabs, often without understanding why. These feeling-based behaviours are usually intellectualised with statements like: “I can’t afford a dentist,” or, “My teeth are fine".

So, why Therapy? and WHY EMDR?

As a Psychologist, I never understood cognitive based therapies. To conceptualise our brain and our body as two separate entities is wild to me! EMDR changed my life as a therapist: EMDR works with our brain and body by encouraging curiosity within ourselves, working with internal defences and reprocessing traumatic memories, to finally heal.

Constantly avoiding triggers or suppressing feelings leads to a life dictated by fear, not freedom. These defences once kept us safe - I do not deny that, but now they limit our potential.

References

Damasio, A. R. (1999). The feeling of what happens : body and emotion in the making of consciousness (1st edition..). Harcourt Brace.
Haynes, J., & Blair-West, G. (2011). The girl in the green dress: A true story of survival and hope. Allen & Unwin.